<![CDATA[laurellit.com - Home]]>Wed, 20 Oct 2021 17:57:10 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Feminist Fiction Writers: Dorothy Parker]]>Wed, 20 Oct 2021 18:15:20 GMThttp://laurellit.com/home/feminist-fiction-writers-dorothy-parker
If “A Phone Call” was the only story by Dorothy Parker that you ever read, you might dismiss her as frivolous. It would be easy to overlook the commentary on gender dynamics, or the skilled, biting humor that is grounded in self-deprecation, and which layers a profound sadness underneath. “A Telephone Call” is a tragi-comic rambling of a woman so desperate for a man to call her that she’s pushed to the edge. But if you consider that it was written in 1930, when women were expected to be passive in relationships, the fact that the narrator/protagonist took the initiative to call a man she’s interested in, and is considering calling him again, is rather empowering. So are some of her observations, like,  “I know you shouldn't keep telephoning them--I know they don't like that. When you do that they know you are thinking about them and wanting them, and that makes them hate you,” and “Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.”

Parker considered herself a feminist, but the world saw her as flippant, an acerbic wit, like with her infamous, whispered response to being told that Calvin Coolidge had died, “How do they know?” Or her famous turn of phrase, “Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.”

 A lot of her work had that same flippancy, which is probably another reason she was easily dismissed. I think in reality, her serious nature, with a suicide attempt, openness about mental health issues, strong political convictions, and admitting to having an abortion, is all evident in her work. “A Phone Call” comes off as funny and true, and at least for me, easily relatable. But underneath all that is desperation and sorrow. I think the author, like her work itself, hides behind cleverness, and when you look more closely, you find profound depth. She explained getting fired by Vanity Fair after only a year by saying,  “Vanity Fair was a magazine of no opinion, but I had opinions” (1956 interview in Paris Review). I loved “A Phone Call” but I also think it’s important to look at any one of Parker’s stories within the context of her entire body of work. 

In another story, “Good Souls” she more describes than narrates, giving a picture of that person everyone knows, the martyr type, one whom we all try to like, but usually fail to do so. “The Good Souls will, doubtless, gain their reward in heaven: on this earth, certainly, theirs is what is technically known as a rough deal. The most hideous outrages are perpetrated on them. 'Oh, he won't mind," people say. "He's a Good Soul.’" 

Her most famous story, which won the O’Henry award in 1929 for short fiction, is “Big Blonde.” The story describes a woman who is depressed, and it was written before people really talked of depression. It also explores gender dynamics in an era where women were finally “allowed” to have fun, but they still were not seen as equals. Apparently, it is semi-autobiographical, as the main character gets divorced, has a string of affairs, and attempts suicide. The story describes a party girl, one who is seen as a good sport. “So, and successfully, she was fun. She was a good sport. Men like a good sport.”

If anyone knew this, it was Parker. She was one of the original founders of the famous Algonquin Round Table at the Algonquin Hotel in Manhattan, where she told jokes and traded barbs with men like Robert Benchley, Robert E. Sherwood, and James Thurber. It was there that Parker became known as one of the wittiest conversationalists in NYC.

A few of her famous quotes:
“She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.”
“That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.”
“Tell him I was too fucking busy-- or vice versa.”
And apparently, “What fresh hell is this?” can originally be attributed to Dorothy Parker.

Read "A Phone Call"
Read "Good Souls"
Read "Big Blonde"
Like the image? Buy it at fineartamerica.com
<![CDATA[Feminist Fiction Writers: Sara Orne Jewett]]>Mon, 13 Sep 2021 18:01:58 GMThttp://laurellit.com/home/feminist-fiction-writers-sara-orne-jewett
Sara Orne Jewett was a turn-of-the-century novelist, poet, and short fiction writer, known especially for emphasizing nature and descriptions of coastal Maine in her work. Two pieces she is most well known for are: 
A White Heron
The County of Pointed Firs
In The County of Pointed Firs, Jewett inserts throughout a dueling yet complementary sense of loss and perseverance. The rural town setting of coastal Maine drives the piece, and the environment is as harsh and unforgiving as it is beautiful. Most of the residents are old, and the unnamed narrator relays their stories of lost love, spouses lost at sea, or simply the loss of life. Yet, to have survived as long as they have, especially in the challenging environment in which they live, represents a fortitude and strength that defines not only each resident, but also the town itself. The narrator observes much from the school house which she rented, like the funeral procession for Mrs. Begg, who had survived three husbands, each of them seamen. Yet, even on a day of such sad observance, the narrator remarks on how life, joy, and rebirth continue. “The song sparrows sang and sang, as if with joyous knowledge of immortality, and contempt for those who could so pettily concern themselves with death.”

The resident whose portrait is most intimately drawn is that of Mrs. Todd, who never married but who was once in love. She explained why she could never be with him: “he come of a high family, an' my lot was plain an' hard-workin'. I ain't seen him for some years; he's forgot our youthful feelin's, I expect, but a woman's heart is different.” Instead, Mrs. Todd grows her herb garden, whose appearance seems strange at first, unkept, but is actually life-affirming. “It seemed sometimes as if love and hate and jealousy and adverse winds at sea might also find their proper remedies among the curious wild-looking plants in Mrs. Todd's garden.” The healing garden is both a symbol of loss and perseverance, and a literal representation of it. “There were some strange and pungent odors that roused a dim sense and remembrance of something in the forgotten past.”

There are other paradoxical themes at play, all of which have to do with the setting. The harsh environment heals yet destroys. The town is secluded and the residents isolated, yet people lived too close together for Mrs. Begg’s liking, and Mrs. Todd’s house was not secluded enough.  The school house has the most beautiful view in town, yet it stands empty, at least during the summer, with no young people to appreciate or even see what is offered. However, there is the promise of the kid’s eventual return, and also the promise that no matter what is lost, the town’s journey will continue.

In both County of Pointed Firs and "A White Heron" 
Jewett’s use of setting is stunning. It doesn’t just provide flavor to the story, she uses it to impact both character and theme. Mrs. Todd, with her knowledge of the town, her herb garden, and the natural powers she is able to harness to impact her community and her surroundings, could not exist in any other setting. Sylvia, the protagonist of "A White Heron," hated the city, but "There ain't a foot o' ground she don't know her way over, and the wild creaturs counts her one o' themselves,” couldn’t exist anywhere else but in the woods she calls home. Both Sylvia and Mrs. Todd are artfully drawn characters, and I expect they were rare at the time they were written. Heck, they’re rare right now. Late middle-aged women characters are usually classified as bitter and villainous, unless they’re an appendage as someone’s wife or mother. Young girls are often either frivolous and forgettable, or bad-seed mean girl types. Yet, neither Sylvia nor Mrs. Todd falls into those character traps, and a big reason for that is their interaction with their surroundings, and their love and reverence for nature. I’ve read that for a character to be multi-dimensional, she needs to have deep connections or concerns for something other than herself. In both Sylvia and Mrs. Todd’s cases, that connection is with their setting, making the setting instrumental, no vital, when it comes to characterization. The same is true when it comes to theme. I wonder if the white heron perhaps symbolized Sylvia, and I also wonder if the herb garden symbolized Mrs. Todd. If so, the setting impacted theme in making the stories not just about character’s interaction with nature, but about self-empowerment and integrity.

<![CDATA[Homemade/Home-Grown Pasta Sauce & Mystic Pizza]]>Mon, 09 Aug 2021 20:58:47 GMThttp://laurellit.com/home/homemadehome-grown-pasta-sauce-mystic-pizza
There's nothing more natural than making a homemade/home-grown pasta sauce on a steamy August afternoon. Do you disagree? Well, consider the bounty of our backyard garden, and maybe you'll understand. We had many, many tomatoes, and an embarrassment of basil and blue sage. 
I decided I couldn't let it all go to waste, and after pursuing various pasta recipes on the web, I came up with my own way to combine the ingredients. I think it turned out pretty well, because both (husband) Rich and (son) Eli gave me rave reviews, and insisted that I make it again.  So that I won't forget how I did it, I'm chronicling the whole process here.

I like to watch 80's movies while I'm experimenting in the kitchen, and the natural choice for my pasta sauce project was the old chestnut, Mystic Pizza.  While Lili Taylor implored her boss Leona to reveal exactly what she put in the sauce that makes it SO GOOD,  I came up with my own sauce. Also, I found that Mystic Pizza aged really well. It's sentimental and cheesy, sure, but at its core it has a feminist message and the theme is about female friendship rather than romantic love. 
Anyway, I'll give more thoughts about Mystic Pizza in a few. Right now I'll describe how I made my sauce. I can't give exact measurements for the tomatoes and herbs (basil & sage) I used, but here is pic of what I picked from the garden:
Before using the tomatoes and herbs, I chopped a small onion and sliced an entire package of turkey bacon. I sautéed it all with a tablespoon of olive oil until the onions looked sort of caramelized and the bacon seemed semi-crisp. Then I put it aside in a bowl.  
Then, it was time to roughly chop the tomatoes and thinly slice a few cloves of garlic. I love garlic, so I'm never light with my use of it. You can of course adjust how much you use to personal taste. 
I put the tomatoes and garlic in the same pan I'd used for the bacon & onions, and I let it all simmer on medium heat for a while. I stirred and mashed the tomatoes as they softened. I threw in some salt & pepper. I poured in about half a glass of red wine. Then, when a lot of the liquid had evaporated, I added in two tablespoons of butter and the herbs. (I used my herb scissors to cut them up. If you don't have a pair of herb scissors I strongly recommend buying a pair!)

This all took around thirty minutes. Then, I put the bacon & onion concoction back in with the tomato sauce, and let it simmer on low while I boiled some gnocchi. After it was soft, I mixed it all together along with some fresh mozzarella. 
Finally, I served it in a bowl with some grated parmesan on top. 
Making this took less than an hour and 48 minutes, which is the running time of Mystic Pizza. I didn't even get to see the part where Charlie takes Julia Roberts to dinner with his family and his brother is a young Matt Damon. That's okay. I've seen the film many times, and I remember how it ends.

I also remember the first time I saw it, in a movie theater on the night before I was to take the SAT. I went with my BFF, Shauna, and yesterday when I watched it, was her 50th birthday, so that seemed a good way to honor both her and female friendship. Mystic Pizza passes the Bechdel test, as two or more named women talk about something other than a man. Yes, Annabeth Gish, Julia Roberts, and Lili Taylor mostly talk about men, but that's mostly in connection to their hopes and dreams for the future. And they also talk about college plans, conflicts with parents, and what might be in Leona's fabulous pizza sauce. 

At one point, Lili Taylor declares it's the '80s, so she doesn't have to marry an asshole. This was one of many moments when a female character naturally asserts her own power over her male partner, while staying sympathetic and likeable to the audience. That's the genius of Mystic Pizza and why it stands the test of time. 

I think you could even say the movie was ahead of its time. But whatever your thoughts are on either the film or my pasta sauce, I can solidly say that watching it while cooking pasta on a steamy August afternoon was satisfying, nostalgic, and tasty!

<![CDATA[Write up of the Write Up: Allure Beauty Box 5/21]]>Tue, 11 May 2021 20:50:30 GMThttp://laurellit.com/home/write-up-of-the-write-up-allure-beauty-box-521
I'm big into box subscriptions, but as I do not  profess to be a lifestyle blogger and instead blog about anything that has to do with reading or writing, I thought I'd take a different angle with my box subscription. I'm not going to give you a review of the products that came in Allure's May beauty box; instead I'm giving you a rundown of how these products are written about by Allure's writers, contributors, and editors. 

In addition to the products in each month's box, there is a tiny little magazine with a tiny little column about each product. I almost love these written pieces as much as the products themselves. The metaphors and imagery they use is super cool.

Editorial assistant Talia Gutierrez calls Augustinus Bader The Rich Cream "the Heather's of the beauty world - an instant cult hit." This product is very intriguing, because it costs $265 for 50 milliliters. The sample size sent is only 7 milliliters, but still, that means this sample is worth roughly 37 dollars! Apparently one small pump goes a long way, soothes dry skin, and makes skin gleam without leaving behind a white cast. Is it worth the price? I doubt it, but I look forward to using the sample. 

I received a full-sized Wander Beauty Sight C-ER Vitamin C Concentrate, and senior beauty editor Dianna Mazzone calls it "the model/actor/singer/songwriter of the beauty world," meaning that is highly versatile and functional. She says that if it had an Instagram bio, it would mention achievements like being able to hydrate, brighten, and protect skin and reduce wrinkles! I love the personification she used and it's made me excited about the product. As soon as I'm done with the vitamin C powder that I received in an Allure beauty box a few months ago (another full-sized product), I plan to crack this baby open and find out if it's too good to be true.

The Josephine Cosmetics Liquid Lipstick in Tiphaine is also full-sized. I don't get why they call it "tiphaine" - which, as far as I can tell, is simply a female first name. The color of this product is red. With my fair complexion, red lipstick looks clownish on me and I know I won't be able to carry it off. I probably won't use this, but I appreciate how staff editor Jihan Forbes writes about how she's missed wearing lipstick during the pandemic (not much use for lipstick underneath a face mask) and "with lipstick, I feel pulled together and ready to attack the workday." Maybe her writing will inspire me to wear another lipstick better suited for my pale, pinkish skin tone.

The Belif Moisturizing Eye Bomb is referred to by senior commerce writer Sarah Hahn as "a refreshing drink for my under eyes." One of the main ingredients is tiger grass, which is also a big ingredient in Dr. Jart's color correcting cream, which I'll admit to ordering after using the sample sent to me in another month's Allure beauty box. So, I look forward to trying this but I also dread it, because it's $48 for .84 ounces, so there's a danger in liking this one too much.

The Pulisse Matcha Green Tea Antioxidant Sheet Mask will most likely be thrown in with the rest of my beauty mask collection. I've been slowly working my way through them, but if I use one, it's at night, and this one has caffeine in it, so I'll have to make a conscious decision to use it in the morning, when I'm often rushed and not in a good place to use a face mask. But assistant beauty editor Angela Trakoshis says this mask makes her skin dewy, and gives "a dose of hydration that makes her makeup go on more seamlessly." So, maybe I'll use it when I have a slow morning but a big day ahead of me? Can't think of when that would be, but who knows?

All in all, I enjoyed reading the little magazine and opening up these products from Allure. It's not just a box of beauty samples but a box of possibilities, and how these products are written about how everything to do with that. 

<![CDATA[The "Write" Time?]]>Sat, 10 Apr 2021 12:23:02 GMThttp://laurellit.com/home/the-write-time
Lately, I've been looking for a sign that I should my job of 21 years, complete my MFA in creative writing, and have time to develop and promote my novels and my blog. To some, this may seem like a no-brainer. If I can afford to do it (which I can) I should go for it, because life is short and opportunities to follow our dreams are limited.
But my job isn't just a "job", nobody's is when they're a teacher. The school where I teach, the community it is in, the students & staff - they're all a part of me. I would be a different person than I am today, had I not taught there. And faced with the prospect of cleaning out my classroom, packing up my books and lesson plans, and saying goodbye - well, it hurts. There's no escaping that pain, not if I intend to leave.
Of course, I wouldn't quit all together. I'd apply for a leave of absence, but the minimum leave is three years. I will ask for part-time, but it seems doubtful they'll accommodate that request. I can come back and sub, but that might be more a more attractive option in theory than in reality.
Here's the truth: there is no way to take a jump without sacrificing this emotional safety net. So much of my life, my routine, and my identity is wrapped up in being a teacher. Yet, perhaps that's part of the reason I should go. If I stopped teaching today, I could be proud of what I've accomplished, what I've taught and what I've learned, and I could look back on my career with pride. I would have no major regrets.
I can't say that about writing. For almost as long as I've been teaching, I have been writing novels, but I have always had to divide writing my time with work obligations, and I'm left wondering what I could achieve if I had the opportunity to focus solely on being a writer. 
It looks as if I might find out. I've had some conversations at work and people are supportive, as are other important people in my life. Still, I've been wavering. Then, the other day I found my "sign" that I'm doing the "write" thing by taking this chance. 
It was an article about Brooke Baldwin, from CNN. She's leaving the network with no real prospects or new opportunity to move on to, other than recently publishing a book. She hasn't given a reason for leaving, other than she'd gotten "too comfortable."  Reading that made it okay to tell myself it's okay to give up comfort. I can embrace feeling scared of unstructured time and days spent not talking to anyone. I can live with not knowing what will happen - if I will publish, or find a job teaching college level writing, or if I will return to old my old teaching job.
It's time to embrace the unknown and make the leap. It's the "write" time!

<![CDATA[The Toxic Reality of the Female Villain]]>Fri, 26 Mar 2021 20:59:31 GMThttp://laurellit.com/home/the-toxic-reality-of-the-female-villain
A short while back, I was watching Tell Me All Your Secrets on Amazon Prime, which is a really good show that I recommend. Here’s the premise: a youngish woman (played by Lily Rabe) gets out of jail on the witness protection program. Her ex-boyfriend is a convicted serial killer and there are still several missing girls the authorities believe he might have been murdered, so Lily Rabe’s job is to help with that and tell them whatever she can. Meanwhile, the mother (played by Amy Brenneman) of a missing girl is desperate to find her daughter, and she’s set on finding Lily Rabe, who she believes is complicit in her daughter’s disappearance. 
Of course, there’s more to both characters than what’s immediately obvious, but it seemed to me that the viewer is made to think that Lily Rabe is the villain and Amy Brenneman is sympathetic, but slowly our perception shifts until it becomes clear who we’re supposed to be rooting for. And at first, I’m like, “Oh, that’s clever, making this grieving mom sort of diabolical,” but then I thought better of it.

Because I asked myself to name one drama, either a film or on TV, where a lead female character is sympathetic, over fifty, and whose primary function is something other than being someone’s wife or mother.

I came up blank.

I asked Twitter, and got a few responses, like Prime Suspect and Murder She Wrote. I just finished watching The Undoing on HBO, which starred Nicole Kidman, and I think that show fits into my criteria as Kidman’s character drives the plot and she’s very sympathetic, but even though I’m sure she was over 50 when it was filmed, I believe her character is supposed to be in her 40s. Nicole Kidman can totally pull that off. She’s still ingenue-like, though just barely.

Anyway, then I started thinking about how, in movies and TV, there's this pervasive pattern of mean, older women tormenting innocent younger women. Just look at Disney: Cinderella & Snow White and their evil stepmothers, Ariel and the Sea Witch, Sleeping Beauty and Maleficent. Even the Disney films about animals, like Lady and the Tramp and 101 Dalmatians, feature a young wife/mother as the pet owner and an older, evil single woman, like Cruella Devil, who gets off on puppy abuse.

Now, I’m sure I’m missing many examples of films with fully-formed, sympathetic characters played by a lead actress who’s in her fifties or older (and if you can think of any, please list them in the comments below.) However, the list of films with fully-formed male sympathetic characters would be vastly longer, and of that, I am supremely confident.

What bothers me about this isn’t so much about the disparity between genders, instead, it’s more what it says about relationships between females. Like, a mature woman can’t be supportive of a younger woman without being jealous of said young woman’s youth and desirability, and that the mature woman's jealousy will automatically turn her into a duplicitous bitch. Or, that any woman “of a certain age” who does not primarily nurture a husband or kids must be aggressive and emotionally bereft. Any woman who is no longer seen as young and beautiful is bitter and withered, both on the outside and in her soul.

Thus, I’ve decided to create a character for my next work-in-progress who is female, sympathetic, and though she’ll be in her fifties, she will still be on a path of discovery. People commented on my story, “We All Own the Sky”, that they think it should continue, so I’ve been sketching out ideas, and I aim to create a 50ish female security guard who wishes she'd become a detective, so now she’s like Nancy Drew, only she's in late middle-age. And though she’ll be at odds with the young woman who’s also at the center of the story, neither of them will be villains.

And after my book is written, published, becomes a huge bestseller and then made into a TV series (which, DUH! Of course it will...) I’ll have to choose who will be the star: Nicole Kidman or Amy Brenneman? Decisions, decisions...

<![CDATA[Shonda Rhimes, Master Class, and Bridgerton]]>Sun, 21 Feb 2021 22:55:54 GMThttp://laurellit.com/home/shonda-rhimes-master-class-and-bridgerton

For my birthday, I was given a subscription to Master Class, which is great, because I am the sort of person who reads course catalogs for fun.  When I first logged on to Master Class, I was asked to click on the courses I was interested in, and, well… if Master Class was a dating site, I’d be that gal who right swipes for anyone who has a pulse & doesn’t appear to be a serial killer.

I was especially eager about the cooking courses and the writing courses. I’ve already learned how to make elevated scrambled eggs from Gordon Ramsey (hint - make sure you have some sea urchin lying around) and there are so many writing courses that look good, it is hard to know where to start. Logically, I should choose a novelist like Judy Blume or Margaret Atwood, since their work is close to what I strive for. 

But no. I chose Shonda Rhimes because when I started her class, I was in the middle of watching Bridgerton

Now, you have to understand my morning routine. I get up. I scour the news. I try to write for around 20 minutes. Then I work out. If it’s not icy out and it’s not super cold, that means going for a run. But, as I live in Minnesota and it’s February, for now that means I work out in my basement and I watch something on Netflix to divert myself from all the exertion. 

Bridgerton was a great diversion.

Shonda Rhimes is a master at creating compelling plots and characters, and I wanted to learn her secret sauce. So I chose her as my first Master Class instructor, even though her class is about writing for television and not about writing novels.

Oh - one other pertinent piece of info: I’ve decided that now that Trump is out of office and it no longer feels necessary to scour the news when I first get up, that  I’ll use my freed up time to get in some Master Class instruction instead. So, for a few glorious mornings, I listened to Shonda espouse her wisdom, and I then would go downstairs, mount my elliptical machine, and witness the fruits of her genius. Too bad there were only eight episodes of Bridgeton available.

Anyway, there are those who say that Bridgerton is trashy, that it's regency romance bordering on soft-core porn. There are those who say that Shonda Rhimes does nothing more than cater to the repressed fantasies of suburban women who feel bored and trapped by their own existence. 

That all may be true. But, just  as Hillary Clinton said that women’s rights are human’s rights, Shonda Rhimes’ ability to speak to women equates to an ability to speak to humanity.

Now, as it is early in the morning when I view her classes, I may be a little fuzzy on the knowledge she has espoused. But one particularly interesting nugget was about supporting characters, and how they must work together to form a whole. She compared her characters on Grey’s Anatomy to the Wizard of Oz - Meredith needed a home, Christina needed a heart, Issy needed a brain, and George needed courage. 


She also said there should be several supporting character counterpoints for the main character. There should be one supporting character who will lie and scheme, trying to get you to believe the sky is purple. There should be one character who will want to believe that the sky could be purple and if we all work hard enough we will make it so. There should be one character who is constantly on a quest to find out if the sky is, in fact, purple. And finally, there needs to be a character who, if they say the sky is purple, that everybody else will trust without question that it is so.
Meanwhile, the main character is under the assumption that the sky is blue, until an earth shattering event challenges her perception.

I still can’t quite grasp all that, And I try to apply it to Bridgerton, which like Shonda Rhimes’ other shows, has a great cast of characters. I’m pretty sure Eloise is the one on the quest, and Lady Danbury is the voice of authority and reason. I’m not sure where the brother characters fit in, but does it really matter? In this show, the men are more the eye candy, there to support the strong cast of female characters in their various pursuits. How refreshing.

I am trying to apply Shonda’s wisdom to my own work. If I can make the novel I’m working on now Shonda Rhimes-like, then I’m making it more marketable. I’m making it better. 

Writing novels and writing for television share a major similarity, in that they are written in chapters. These chapters have a structure and rhythm, and while their focus may vary, the tone should remain the same. Suspense and intrigue should build slowly so that revelations can happen all at once. In Bridgerton, there is the diary voice over of Lady Whistledown, done by Julie Andrews, that helps in that department. But really, the show works because all the elements of character, plot, and structure come together beautifully. 

Well, it is about that time of morning when I should get off my couch and go work out. In a few minutes I will turn on Get Even, which is a British series based off of a novel series by Gretchen McNeil, about these private school girls who form a secret society of vigilante justice, but then they get framed for murder.  

It’s almost Shonda Rhimes like in its juiciness. Now if only I could come up with something as good.

<![CDATA[Dear Jake Tapper: What do you Know About Teachers' Feelings?]]>Fri, 05 Feb 2021 22:30:19 GMThttp://laurellit.com/home/dear-jake-tapper-what-do-you-know-about-teachers-feelings

Dear Jake Tapper,

I feel betrayed. I tweeted but you didn’t respond. 

Rarely do I have time to watch your show, but I’d worked ahead on my lesson plans and grading, so I could finish early to make a birthday cake for my son. I had on "The Beat" while I was in the kitchen, and you did this segment about “Do Teachers Need to be Vaccinated for Schools to Safely Reopen?” Dr. Paul Offit was your guest, and you asked him if there was any reason why a “normal, healthy” adult couldn’t go back to school safely. He said no. Then you said something like, “teachers say they don’t want to return to school because they don’t feel safe." You said this with incredulity, like (and perhaps I'm being overly sensitive) you couldn't believe teachers could be so selfish as to base school re-openings on something like "feelings." Anyway, whatever your subtext was, it wasn’t really a question, but an invitation for Dr. Offit to dismiss the concerns of teachers, and then you said something like, “we need to choose between teachers and students,” and then I got so mad I turned it off.

You see, teachers have been accused of selfishness a lot lately. Teachers unions have been vilified. We are seen as hysterical and getting in the way of kids' - and society's - well-being. And never do we get interviewed or asked by reporters or scientists why we don't "feel safe." So someone like you, who I know values fair journalism and reporting the truth, should talk to a teacher.

So, I tweeted you. But again, you didn’t respond.

You and Dr. Paul Offit should invite a group of 30 sixteen year-olds over to your living room, a room which I’ll assume is on the larger size. There should be enough space for them all to sit 6 feet apart comfortably, right? Keep in mind, these teenagers know each other and some are friends and they haven’t yet learned a lot of self-restraint and it’s been a while since they’ve seen each other, so they might need some firm reminders about social distancing. Others have parents who believe Covid 19 is a hoax and that masks are an infringement on their personal freedoms. Those kids also most likely blame YOU for having had to distance-learn all these months, so get ready for an argument when you tell them that if they don’t wear a mask, they’ll have to go home. 

Oh, and you’ll need to teach them something. Perhaps you could do a lecture about journalism, but you’ll be wearing a mask while you do, and you can’t come close to any of them if they have a question. After around 90 minutes you will need to disinfect every surface they’ve touched or sat upon, and then you’ll host another group of 30 teenagers and do the same thing, and then again, a couple more times.  Around mid-day, these kids will take off their masks and eat lunch. I’m not sure exactly how they’ll get to your place or go home, but it will most likely be on a bus where they can’t social distance.

You would “feel safe” with all that, right?

Perhaps you’re thinking you’ll just host 15 kids at a time, and they can have out their computers, and the rest of the kids will have out their computers at home, and you’ll teach your lesson to a computer while you’re wearing a mask and you’ll disinfect and you’ll monitor all the kids to make sure they’re wearing their masks and keeping their distance.

How would that scenario make you “feel”?

Here’s the thing: you and medical doctors can tout CDC studies like the one done on 17 schools in rural Wisconsin that found that IF proper mitigation techniques like social distancing, mask wearing, and students travelling in pods are followed, that school is safe.


But most schools have trouble adhering to those standards for various reasons, and that doesn’t count what to do about lunch or transportation.

You can assume that most teachers are “normal, healthy” adults, without taking into account the vast amount of teachers who are over 65, or who have underlying health conditions, or who live with people with health conditions. Staffing is an issue, and so is finding substitute teachers for regular teachers who are quarantined and/or ill.

You can say there is no evidence of increased spread in school buildings, but the fact is, many cases go unreported, especially if kids are asymptomatic. If a teacher or school staff gets Covid 19 and it’s not 100% clear that it was from someone else in the school, then it’s reported as “community spread.” Plus, lots of parents send their kids to school sick. Lots of parents refuse to get their kids tested.

One more thing: this isn’t just about teachers. We don’t know much about the long term effects of this virus and how young people are affected. It seems foolhardy to say there is “no question” that kids are better off back in school buildings. We just don’t know. In addition, lots of schools that started distance but went back to in-person made families choose, so kids who’d been used to having the same classmates and teachers all year were switched. Other schools keep going back and forth between distance and hybrid as case rates rise and fall again, making teachers have to change their plans and strategies, making them unable to give their students consistency.

I am lucky that I work for a district that is cautious and I have been able to teach distance since March. At our school, we have spent hundreds of hours reaching out to kids and their families, making connections, and developing lessons that are interactive and challenging. Ideally, we’d be back in the classroom, but we’re not in an ideal situation right now, and we’re doing the best for kids that we know how to do. Will we go back if case rates continue to go down, even if we’re not vaccinated? Probably. But I trust that my school district will make an informed choice, taking into account the complexities of public education and safety issues, that they won’t just dismiss the “feelings” of teachers as being irrelevant. 

I wish you, and other media members, and all the doctors who think they’re experts on public education, would do the same.

<![CDATA[A Girl's Guide to Turning 50]]>Wed, 27 Jan 2021 19:57:23 GMThttp://laurellit.com/home/a-girls-guide-to-turning-50
First, a disclaimer: I realize using the word “girl” in regards to turning 50 is both inaccurate and a bit diminishing. I am a woman and I should be proud of my wisdom, sophistication, and life experience. I am proud. However, using “girl” in regards to my 50th birthday slaps a bit of youthfulness onto the occasion, and if I can’t be young anymore, I can at least feel youthful.

So, how do I celebrate turning 50? I’ll be honest; I’d really rather not. I get that I don’t have a choice, at least not about the “turning 50” part, but I’m not clear on how to celebrate this milestone. Because here’s the thing: even if I live to be 100 (which I plan to do) I’m still, at the very least, entering the second half of my life. And as more time goes by, it only speeds up, so really, perception-wise, more than half my life is over. It’s tempting to think all the adventurous parts are, anyway. 

Except, I have it pretty dang good. I am a teacher. I am happily married and we have two healthy, strong individuals as children (but my son will fly in the nest soon and that makes me sad.) I write novels, though not with the same drive that I used to. But everyday, I look for new ways to explore the possibilities, to learn or change for the better, even in this time of Covid 19. The possibilities are still there, but they’ve changed, become more quiet, more settled, and more predictable. Just like me.

So, how do I celebrate?  I Googled “benefits of turning 50” and what came up was some pretty exciting stuff, especially the part about free colonoscopies. I mean, sign me up! (But seriously, I know it’s time to get a colonoscopy and I promise to make an appointment once the pandemic is over. On a lighter note, that National Park Pass sounds pretty good…)

As long as I’m laying it all out there, I’ll mention another hindrance I have about celebrating 50. Many older women say that they started to feel invisible when they reached a certain age. Because, once a lady is no longer attractive and/or able to bear children, people don’t see or hear her anymore. I know that’s extreme and it doesn’t have to happen. Look at Michelle Obama, Kamala Harris & Elizabeth Warren, or at actresses/entertainers like Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Aniston, and Jennifer Lopez. None of them are invisible. However, I can’t aspire to be them because I’m not a celebrity with a team of stylists or handlers, and honestly, being any one of them sounds like way too much work.

So, perhaps I won’t celebrate being 50, but I will still, obviously, turn 50. Thus, I’ve decided that instead of celebrating and putting pressure on myself to be happy, I will allow the bittersweet, nostalgic sentiments to seep in. I will allow myself a bit of sadness on this day. And, I will also accept myself and who I am and try my best to rock turning 50 and to be okay with it, even if I’m not over the moon.

I haven’t wanted to admit my age for a long time. Being youthful has always been a part of who I am. Yet, who I am is changing, and there is no shame in turning 50. I can still be myself at this age, I can still be heard and seen, and I can own this milestone, even if I don’t celebrate it. So this is me, announcing to the world, I AM 50. WANNA MAKE SOMETHING OF IT?

Also, just to be clear - no matter what I age I turn, I will always celebrate my birthday, even if I don’t celebrate my age. I love cake and presents, so bring em’ on! And ten years from now, I’ll look back and realize how good I had it, to be turning 50 years young.

<![CDATA[Tucker Carlson Is A Karen, and Other Guys Are Too.]]>Sat, 16 Jan 2021 14:09:02 GMThttp://laurellit.com/home/tucker-carlson-is-a-karen-and-other-guys-are-too
lLet’s talk about “Karen”. Karen is a white woman who takes her privilege for granted and she uses her power by diminishing or degrading others in the process. Conservatives think Karens are women who consider themselves woke, and that Karens go around telling others that they’re not anti-racist enough. To them, Nancy Pelosi is the ultimate Karen, because she is a woman who uses her gavel, rips up Trump’s speech, and claps at Trump slowly and maliciously. Meanwhile, liberals feel that the ultimate Karen is the woman who demands to “speak to your manager” and refuses to wear a mask because her freedoms are being infringed upon, and she degrades anyone who isn’t white. To them, the ultimate Karen is the woman who was walking her dog this summer and called the cops on a black man who was merely bird watching.

I know which side I’m on. There is no way Nancy Pelosi is a Karen. She has fought hard for her power. It doesn’t come through privilege. It comes through determination, scrappiness, and political savvy. And if she uses that gavel or stares down Trump, well, good. He deserves everything she has thrown his way. In addition, I don’t agree that any liberal woman could be a Karen, because a liberal woman wouldn’t be trying to rob others of their power, she would be fighting to give others more power, even if she might be accidentally misguided in how she goes about it.

Yet, even if we can all agree that a true Karen is the abusive, “let me talk to your manager” type, I still take issue with some aspects of the Karen stereotype. First, there’s the haircut. What’s so wrong with an inverted bob? I’ve worn a subtle version of one for years. I don’t do the bangs or poof it out, but there’s not much I can do with my sorry, thin, white-woman limp hair, and the inverted bob has been my go-to style for decades. There’s not much I can change about my hair, and I don’t like being judged for it. 

 I also don’t like people telling Karen to “calm down.” It plays into the whole hysterical female trope. Now, to be clear, I don’t condone entitled women who toss around their privilege in an abusive way. However, I do have trouble with the term “Karen”, just in general.  Putting aside the unfair persecution of an innocuous name, no matter how you see it, a “Karen” has to be female and she has to be in a position of power, and how dare a woman have power?

I’m not saying it’s okay for anyone to degrade someone else, or to take advantage of their privilege at the expense of other people. But there’s no equivalent term to Karen for white men. White men use and abuse their power and privilege all the time. Let’s face it; that’s ALL a lot of white men do. It’s expected. But nobody thinks twice about it so of course we’re not going to invent a way to mock them for it, or turn them into a meme or a stereotype.

But we should. 

I once said as much to my husband, and he said that the male equivalent to Karen is Ken. I did a Google search and he’s right; though “Terry” and “Gregg” are other possibilities. But none have caught on in the way that “Karen” has. Call someone a “Ken” and maybe it stings a little, but only if they know what you’re talking about, which they probably won’t. And, while I hate to imply that having feminine qualities is somehow undesirable, the best way to insult a privileged, abusive white man is to attribute feminine qualities to him. Yeah. Call him a “Karen.” He’ll hate it.

So, which high profile white men are most deserving of being called a “Karen”? They’re the ones who get off on diminishing women. Here is an incomplete list:
  • Tucker Carlson: His takedown of AOC after she admitted to being scared for her life was abhorrent, and that’s only the worst thing he’s done this week. Carlson can’t stand that a young, highly intelligent, supremely talented woman (who also happens to be pretty) is more popular than he is. So he has to degrade her, call her “Sandy” and dismiss her as a vapid waitress. Meanwhile, he sits on his cushy chair at Fox News and has no idea what it means to struggle or to work hard.
  • Joseph Epstein: He’s the guy from the WSJ who wrote a column saying Jill Biden needs to drop “Dr.” from her name, and he referred to her as ‘kiddo” in the process. 
  • Mitch McConnell: Remember back in 2017, when Elizabeth Warren stood on the Senate floor to protest Jeff Sessions being appointed as Attorney General, and they tried to silence her? And Mitch was all, “nevertheless, she persisted.” Like, he just assumed she’d be quiet because he told her to be?
  • Donald Trump Jr.: This guy is reprehensible and there’s so many things he’s said & done that qualify him as a Karen, but one instance particularly stands out. Remember when he said, “If you can’t handle some of the basic stuff that’s become a problem in the workforce today, you don’t belong in the work force. You should go maybe teach kindergarten,” 
He was talking about sexual harassment, and he managed to insult sexual harassment victims and kindergarten teachers all at once. Of course the irony is that Don Jr. has never had to really work a day in his life, and he wouldn’t last ten minutes teaching kindergarten, which is extremely challenging in ways he will never understand.
  • Donald Trump: This one is obvious. With his many crimes against humanity, I suppose it’s no surprise that when commentators list all his scandals, “pussygate”, the sexual assault allegations made against him, and his general misogyny, often don’t make the list. Not only should they make the list, they should be on the very top.

    Calling someone a Karen is an effective way of belittling a person who seeks to belittle others. Confining this sling to merely women has been the point all along, but it’s time to open things up and be equal opportunity. Guys can be Karens too.