Catch and Kill

It’s unusual for me to read nonfiction, but I was drawn to Ronan Farrow’s Catch and Kill for several reasons. I’d already watched Farrow v. Allen and Untouchable, both of which are documentaries on HBO, and which deal with sexual abuse and abuse of power, focusing on the allegations against Woody Allen and Harvey Weinstein, respectively.  After watching both I came away with several conclusions: both Allen and Weinstein are no doubt guilty; powerful men like to protect even more powerful men; when a woman finds the strength and courage to subject herself to cruel scrutiny by making an allegation of sexual abuse or harassment she should be given the benefit of the doubt; and, Ronan Farrow is a fascinating guy.

He made it clear, both in his book and in his interviews after his book came out, that he didn’t want this story to be about him. The story, he maintained, was about the bravery and the strength of the women who came forward. “In the end, the courage of women can’t be stamped out. And stories – the big ones, the true ones – can be caught but never killed.” That line brought tears to my eyes when I first read it, and it still makes me a little misty each time I reread it. 

The thing is, while Farrow spent months trying to bring these women’s stories to light, Catch and Kill IS Ronan Farrow’s story, and it’s a story that could only belong to him. As the biological son of Mia Farrow and (maybe?) Woody Allen, he has struggled to make his high-profile career his own, to stay away from issues that relate to his parents. One thing that really impressed me about him though, was his honest depiction of himself. More than once, he describes his selfish, dismissive attitude when his beloved sister/closest sibling Dylan decided she wanted to put herself out there and renew her rape allegations against her adoptive father, Woody Allen. “Why can’t you just let it go?!” Ronan had demanded, as if rape was something that you could “let go” of, equating it to moving on from a bad day or to an unfortunate haircut that you need to grow out.

Years later, Farrow is haunted by his treatment of his sister, and perhaps those feelings, in part, motivated him to help find justice for Weinstein’s victims. This was not lost on Harvey Weinstein. Once it became clear Farrow’s story would be published, Weinstein told him, “You couldn’t save someone you love, and now you think you can save everyone.”

Weinstein was only half right. Farrow never took for granted his ability to “save” anyone, as he was thrown road blocks at every turn.  Over half his book is about NBC’s determination to kill the story, particularly on behalf of the head of the news division, Noah Oppenheim. Farrow was constantly told by Oppenheim that he needed to “pause” his research and his interviews, as he worked so hard to gain the trust of women like Rose McGowen and Italian movie star, Asia Argento. They were both willing to go on record, and in Argento’s case there was even a recording of Weinstein harassing and pressuring her.  Yet, Farrow was constantly told there “wasn’t enough to pursue” the story.

Farrow would turn to his sister, Dylan, throughout the process. In his acknowledgements (this book was so good that I actually read the entire acknowledgments) he thanks her for helping him to “imagine the unfathomable.” Per his accounts of their conversations, she didn’t go easy on him. But he never implies that he deserved anything less than her brutal honesty. If Dylan thought he was acting cowardly, she told him so, and he would be the first to agree with her.  Yet, it was impossible not to sympathize with Farrow’s plight. His job, his privacy, his relationships, and even his personal security were threatened as he pursued the story about Weinstein’s accusers, and he had no support. Rather, people were trailing him, leading him to leave behind “if you’re reading this it’s because something happened to me” sorts of messages in his personal lock box. 

I won’t give away all the details of the stories of Weinstein’s victims, or of how they were finally made public. But these stories are heartbreaking, and the message here is that this happens all the time. Men in power abuse women with less power. If the woman speaks up, she is scrutinized, questioned, and abused once again in the court of public opinion.  Weinstein’s victims were mostly beautiful, entitled women, yet none of that protected them from the trauma he induced. He literally ruined lives. Additionally, men like Matt Lauer, Bill Cosby, and Roger Aisles did the same, and Ronan Farrow did a lot to at least start the conversation about how to deal with predators like them.

But lots of questions are left unanswered. I want to know why we aren’t talking about this more. According to RAIN.org, for every 1000 sexual assaults, 995 perpetrators will walk free.  Sexual harassment still exists. Sexism still exists. Women still make 82 cents on the dollar made by men of all races.  Domestic violence still exists. According to theHotline.org, an average of 24 people PER MINUTE  are victims of domestic violence in the United States.

I want to know how we could elect a man as president who preys on women, and how, when listing all of the scandals and stories that have out about him, the allegations of rape and harassment against him rarely even get mentioned. The stories about Weinstein may have triggered the #MeToo movement, but nothing is fixed. As a society, we still accept misogamy and abuse.
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Without saying it directly, Ronan Farrow makes it clear that women are not treated equally to men. He also shines light on how imperative the news media is to an informed democracy when he quotes a man who was actually hired to spy on him: “You know, the press is as much part of our democracy as Congress or the executive branch or the judicial branch. It has to keep things in check. And when the powerful control the press, or make the press useless, if the people can’t trust the press, the people lose. And the powerful can do what they want.”

Ronan Farrow shares a Pulitzer with Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey from the the New York Times for their stories about Weinstein and the brave, strong women who risked everything, after losing almost everything, to come forward. I can’t imagine more deserving recipients, partly because this work lays bare how much more needs to be said. Catch and Kill is Farrow’s story, but it’s about lots of people and it’s about suppression, redemption, and justice wherever it can be found.  Farrow observes, “Picking the right fights was a lesson I could be slow to learn.” He does learn this lesson however, and I can only hope he’ll continue in his quest to teach us all.

I do not simply recommend  Catch and Kill for its  suspense, celebrity gossip, epic power struggles, and riveting plot. I call it required reading so we can all learn about the true meaning of advocacy, truth, and bravery.  Start reading it today!